Dieu m'a donné la foi

Hey peeps ... 

I know I've been lame lately ... I fell into the hustle of work/travel/life here and therefore neglected my blog .... but today has been a great sunny day ... the type that makes you want to fall asleep all day outside. Instead I settled for a picnic under the eiffel tower. So many things have happened since Ive last written I dont even know where to start. I guess I'll start by explaining my title for this post ... last weekend I fell into what is french 90's pop music and clearly have taken up a liking for it ... think the Christina Aguilera for the french .. and yea Dieu m'a donné la foi (god gave me the faith) is their genie in a bottle hhahah. Don't doubt that I pump that shit in my ipod on my way to work in the morning having the frenchies being like damn who is this girl. 

Other than that Paris is still my oyster to discover ... cannot believe I've been gone for an entire term already!!! I love this city (i know ... i say it over and over but I can't help it) I'm alcoholic for french culture and I've only started  .... Speaking of drinking I've done my fair share .. enough to make my philly friends proud and my montreal friends scared haha .. I've found this wine that is AMAZING its called le 6ieme sens (the 6th sense) which is like 4€ a bottle(thats a steal). I think I'm more of an alcoholic than ever ... but here its natural ... wine ... apperos ... are common affairs which are to be enjoyed not chastised. Drunkness is a sign of social merriment ... a consequence of drinking in companionship and meaningful dialogues. I've enjoyed talking politics (ahhh taboooo) and other controversial topics with citizens of the world .. since most of the people I've met are other world travelers. Speaking of, Obama was here last weekend ... just hanging out in my hood ... NBD. 

I'm not sure if I've told you about the trip to London ... which was EPIC. I met up with my friend A and her crew on a Friday night ... after eating dinner with her sister we wanted to go out but no one wanted to go out with us. A, was yawning and I was getting discouraged. We ended up taking the subway to Old Street where we were told would be a lot of bars, having walked up and down the street finding nothing of interest, we were casually standing at the exit of the metro when two young gals come up to us asking for directions to a bar. After lamely excusing our inability to help them we find out that the are two teachers and Canadians from Toronto (one who taught hip hop at my old high school) RANDOM. So anyways they invite us to go to the aforementioned bar with them (now having directions) so we hang with them. The world they opened for us is indescribable by narration but I'll try. We go to a bar, the people are drama/theatrics people, shot of tequila, someone in a beard recites spoken poetry about a "difficult shit", shot of tequila, there's a birthday going on in the bar and balloons everywhere, shot of tequila, my shoe sticks to the floor lost it for 2 mins, shot of tequila, bar is closing they have an after party with prepaid cabs, we look at each other "Why the fuck not" and off we are to the best part of night. Which includes more alcohol ... and musicians ... everyone has their own instrument and a jam session proceeds till 6 am. But as they say ... when in london (or Rome) 

Since then, I've partied on a boat (yea I was ON A BOAT ... insert SNL lyrics here) ... Went to the French Open and saw Federer win ... Went to a party at a coworkers house only to find out that 30 year olds party just like 20 year olds ... passed out on a couch and have many embarassing pictures to prove it. Partied with french people and took them unknowingly to a club on "lesbian night" claiming to "ALWAYS go to that bar" ...  damn there's no way to explain that I didn't know it was going to be a lesbian night. That was more embarassing than passing out on a coworkers couch ahah. I karaoked Journey - Don't Stop Believing and Puddle of Mud -She Fucking Hates Me .... HAMMERED drunk on a Thursday night ... realizing I have no more money to get home and everyone I know has left due to severe intoxication ... I convince some dude that i'll go home with him cuz he lives close to me, only to jump out at a red light leaving him with the cab fee and who knows what else .... wake up Friday morning at 9:20 (FUCKED .. both because i'm late to work and because i'm fucking hammered still) manage to make it to work ... I reek of alcohol and I only respond to everyone english ... I think I've really made a good impression! 

But on a serious note, work is amazing. I've learnt so much about buildings and more applicable concepts than any other coop I've done so far. Not everything is just party party party. I've also booked some crazy trips and have some amazing visitors coming starting next weekend until I leave soo ... 

I've got to go ... its my friends birthday and I'm trying to keep it classy considering I have to work tomorrow. 

Guys I love you all and miss you tonsss 

bisousss

Get Bill Gates some binoculars and say look out for MEEEE

Last night I realized I moved to Paris ha .... kinda late I know but it hadn't hit me till I was fully situated into my apt and going out for drinks with friends. I also realized I've been a horrible tourist and haven't taken any pictures that would help anyone realize that I moved here aka touristic pictures. I do have a couple of pictures though ... here's one with me and all my new friends ... 

So anyways the weirdest things have happened to me whilst being here ... I took the metro last weekend to meet up with Duda and his crew only to be harassed by a SDF (french pc term for creepo homeless dude) ... he decided that I didnt look french or maybe it was because I was talking on my cell phone in english that I was an AMERICAN TERRORIST ... this is NOT a joke ... he started to yell at me (in french mind you) that I've come to their country as a terrorist and that I had big plans to do evil things to french people (I think evil is a subjective term anyways) Needless to say I got off at the next stop and changed cars ... my heart beating out of my chest ... cuz duh ... I'm Canadian. 

I've officially moved into my apartment and its fabulous .... Its like really big .. you can totally fit like 3 people in here comfortably ... despite its small living spaces it does have a lofted bed (and as my old roommate A pointed out, I really have a thing for lofted beds) ... its right in the center of the 5th arrondissement and I can literally (almost) see the Notre Dame Cathedral from my window .. if I lean wayy wayy out ha ... Here is a pict of the view so you can all be jealous. And for you smart asses the cathedral is in the other direction .... 

Well I'm off to Londontown to meet up with my best friend whom I haven't seen in almost 2 yearss and she might actually be crazier than me (I say actually out of politeness because this girl is fucking NUTS) ... I hope to survive the weekend and in my most famous words ... this can only end with one of us in jail or arrested .... 

MISS YOU ALL

bisous

"Would you buy a shirt if it cut you?"

Sooo lately I've been thinking .... I take a LOT of shit from my shoes. Yea I said it, fuck them. Im pretty sure I've lost feeling in my right foot big toe and I have all kinds of battle wounds from various footware. So the other day I was out with friends (don't all laugh at once ... I'm starting to make some) and one of the girls, lets just call her O, decided to take the subway home with me instead of walking to her nearish apt. I know that the champagne may have been talking but it defintely reached out to me when she started to complain about her shoes. And here goes the monologue (and I quote):

"I just don't get it, why do women insist on wearing shoes that hurt, shoes that cut you ... its not like you'd go to a store try on a shirt that cut you  and be like YUP i'll take that one??" 

GOLD. Yes pure gold ... Id have to agree 100% but then again I did just buy two really cute pairs of shoes todayy ahh c'est la vie ... 

oh and paris update: Duda was in PAREE ... had a holiday friday... partied really hard this weekend ... saturday my body felt the reprocusions as did my wallet ... sucked it up and went out again Sat ... techno ... walked out of the club at 5am ... realize my backyard is the Notre Dame Cathedral .. fresh fruit .. fresh veggies .. fresh EVERYTHING ... had someone ask me for directions (highlight of my Paris career so far) oh and the friend list is at 10 ... its a work in progresss 

but i digress ... must get back to work 

bisous 

ps I have pictures coming I promisee

"its bananas homie"

Quote from the biggest douchebag of all time ... Spencer Pratt. That being said YES I have caught up on my episodes of the Hills and NO I haven't caught you guys up on my life. SORRY. As big of a douche as he is ... he is right on point ... my life IS bananas right now. 

Want to know what else is bananas? Me going on a 2 hr solo mission at 8pm on a Sunday ending up in the ghettos of Paris, avoiding gang wars, dodging screaming bums, peeing myself a little (due to the attack of the bum) and the whole time thinking "what the fuck is the number for 911 in this city?? Knowing all numbers start with like 0001182838 and then of course there's the country code 848201 ..." and then just resorting to ... I'M FUCKED. But hello ... hi .. here to tell about it so obviously NBD ... if you want the full story write me i'll email it to you.

To quickly update on my Parisian status ... Bank Account? Check .... Cell phone? Check (see picture for proof) Friends to call? Debatable (do your landowner and work numbers count?) ... Apt? Moving in on Friday so technical Check. Stupid corny pictures in front of monuments? Embarrassingly a check but will not be revealed due to the fact that only TOURISTS do things like that.

So I started work last week after a sabbatical of approx 5 weeks, which I must say was glorious. And let me tell you ... the french know how to do work. Don't have to get in till around 9:30. Then you have to get coffee (15 mins after getting to work) and it comes in a shot sized cup which somehow takes 20 mins to drink. Then its practically lunchtime which includes a FULL meal and when I mean full i mean meat/rice/veggies type of meal (i'm not so into that so everyone at work thinks i'm a vegetarian ... ha if they only knew how much I could go for a cheesestakes from Genos). Clearly this meal is to take an hour and a half which is followed by a thirty minute grace period known as "on prend un café?" I made the mistake the first day to say no to my post meal coffee only to be stared at like an American in Paris (and WHO wants to be one of those???). Since then ... no coffee mishaps have occurred. It might actually be the cause of my bulimic ballerina type heartburn. I must include the fact that they work 35 hrs a week as norm and have 5 weeks paid vacation and 10 forced holidays. 

All thats just the breakdown of the daily grind ... I NEED to tell you guys about the formalities of the office. Every morning when you get to work you need to give the people you run into "les bises" (kisses ... two in fact) now this can cause for severe anxiety disorder if you are a shy (i know you dont believe me but i've been pretty shy lately) Canadian girl. I dread having to get up and kiss everyone or shake their hand and try to keep track of who I've already seen and who I didnt and then I do the hesitation dance which goes: a lean in slash a back away, all to seem like I was only kidding (you know what I mean). Sounds childish but its HELL. Then there are table manners, if you decided you want water you need to go get the glass pitcher bring it to the table... which then involves pouring the water for everyone who wants some. O M G G. therefore I usually sit parched throughout lunch while I wait for someone else to pour the water in avoidance of what has high school embarrassment written all over it ... what if i were to slip while holding the water jug or spill water all over someone ... and to that I say nah uh frenchies I'm smarter than that. They do make up for all the anxiety they cause me by hosting happy hour in the office on friday nights .... makes for an interesting boat ride home (but that's a whole other story). 

I'm pretty sure that everyday I proclaim at least once "I've found the BEST bakery in Paris" only to find out thats a fucking oxymoron considering they're all AMAZING. You can get fresh croissants for breakfast right out of the oven everyday if you want and you don't have to walk anywhere more than outside your door. 

And to let you know I really have started to make friends ... went to an "after work" last week which is a nicer way to say happy hour and it was pretty baller ... it included endless supplies of champagne with table service and great company. Plus watching french people dance is enough reason to pay cover on its own. 

All in all this place is pretty much like the typical portrait you think it is and I love it. People do ride around on bicycles, people make out freely, as I've already mentioned leather and fur a plentiful and the food is phenomenal ... but don't go thinking this place is like they show it in Ratatouille ... I've heard asian tourists cry in disappointment when they come here (who even knew Ratatouille came out in Japan?) 

Mais là il faut que je prepare mon souper ..... à tout ... 

bises

À Vendre/À Louer ... the search continues

I have to say I'm quite intrigued to find out who rode the bull last night and PUMPED for the NHL playoffs to start ... goodjob last night Flyers (ha maura/shocker) ... 

I'm also wondering about my roommate knitting mittens in her double bed and how my baby girl KK is handling her food situation without me there to feed her. 

I have to say I am still in love with Paris and hope everyone has the chance to come visit me (hoping I have an apt by then) but along this crazy journey I've discovered/noticed a lot of things: 

1. The french dress impeccably
   
2. Wine is 3$ a bottle 
3. Apartments REALLY are large closets
4. EVERYONE smokes
5. Everyone (boys & girls) has a leather jacket (although not as cool as mine)
6. You can't get an apartment without a bank account
7. You can't get a bank account without an apartment
8. You can't get a cell phone without a bank account 
9. And apartment owners can't call you without a cell phone (You figure out how i'm going to get an apartment/bank account/cell phone)
10. My dad reminds me I have no friends aka no use for a cell phone
11. He's RIGHT 
12. People wear fur shamelessly 
13. EVERYONE smokes (needed to be said twice because its that crazy)
14. There are amazing parks that young ppl hang out in and once I find friends I will make them do the same with me. 

well as awesome as the list is I do need to get back to the large wine glass I've poured myself and hope everyone crosses their fingers I don't have to live in a large cardboard box on the streets of Paree ... 

two more things .... 

macaroons are sinful and anyone got some hook ups for french credentials/creditors??? They can be real or forged ... i'm not picky 

A Quicky is always a Goodie

BONSOIR, 

I am extremely tired from closet hunting aka apartment hunting and therefore I will post only the BEST video I've ever had the pleasure to edit. If you are not me, Muffin or Gina Diva you might loose interest but if you are Slowsky I would advise watching the whole thing. Thank you girls for the going away party and thank you for the entertainment I had while editing this on the 8 hr flight over the Atlantic. 

Enjoy & Bisous, 

Q: Do french people really walk down the street with baguettes under their arms

A: Yes. Sometimes multiple baguettes. 

Bonsoir mes amis ... I'm actually in Paris and for some reason it already feels awkwardly like home. Ps I was NOT kidding about the baguette situation its like a stereotype FAIL. I've arrived safely minus a minor terrorist-like episode on the flight, where a sketch Moroccan dude got in a fight with this french lady and started performing slight to advanced voodoo ... when the situation finally deescalated I was glad it was over only to find out the grumbling man was going to be my cross-continental neighbor behind me. Sooo I may or may not be blessed or cursed (fingers crossed for the former). My parents rented this baller apt for the week and has given me false hope of the CLOSET I will probably inhabit for the next 5 months, so when you guys come visit get pumped for spooning on my futon which will be found half in the kitchen half in the bathroom ... it gives a whole new meaning to breakfast in bed or shitting where you eat ... gosh if the french only knew how jokes they are. 

Okay welll considering I'm debatably crazy and haven't slept since I woke up for early morning coffee with my darling Arielle (who studies at 9 AM on a sunday???) and it is now 8pm Paris time ... I'm tired and going out to eat ... 

pps I've already fallen in love ... the fashion, the food, the men